Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize