I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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