This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
