fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
