i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
