I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
