Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
