Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
