Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
