new low.... made out with someone while peeing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
