it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
