i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize