Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
