I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
