we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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