he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
