tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
