your thong is hanging out like whoa
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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