Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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