Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Reggie can tackle my bush.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
