when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
