you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
