so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
