Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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