after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My ATM looks so different sober.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Found your dick twin last night
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
