Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
