you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
