dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
