He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize