i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
