dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think your dad took our porno
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
