Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
