No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize