The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
