you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
