Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it's like heaven, but drunker
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
