He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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