just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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