Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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