You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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