so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
