Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
