some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
