4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
