Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
