Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
