Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dear god my vagina.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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