Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
