it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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