you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
