Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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