Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
