Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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