i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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