What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
