she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Randomize
