You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
