my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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