every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
