if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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