we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
